The Last Post

I’m tired. While climbing up the stairs to the Fortress, I’ve decided to sit on the stairs for a moment and open the small bottle of prosecco that I've bought to celebrate. While having some sips, I've started writing these lines on the notebook full of scratches from the past weeks. Tourists are ascending and descending – I’ve learned to ignore their presence and generated a weird relationship with them, so to say.

In the cocoon like environment of the Academy, I’ve learned not only different approaches to art but also to life. Dilşad, a student from Cappadocia, who has been here from the beginning until the end taking different classes, said that she’d like to find her way with art, which medium to use to go further. During this time, I haven’t found myself in relation to my writing, but my perception has seriously transformed. In a way, this residency helped to throw off the shackles that for some reason prevented me to act upon certain decisions. As a freelance writer in Berlin, from time to time I find myself in a bubble of isolation. Here, the more I’ve interacted with the teachers, students, technicians and the team of the Academy, the more I got influenced to keep pace with my surroundings to create.

During 6 weeks, my emotions were intense. Was it the architecture of the Fortress or all the earnest conversations and connections I've experienced? Besides that, Weltschmerz didn’t let me go as problems in the world keep piling up. To be honest, although I’m extremely happy to go back to Berlin –  writing, working on new deadlines, watching choreographies from Tanz im August, lying on my couch with my dog with a book and cup of tea – a part of me is scared. I don’t know how I shall respond to this transformation I feel in myself, while handling regular acts of daily life... For sure, I’ll be remembering my days in the Academy with all those idiosyncratic beings… Funny enough, I think I’ll even miss the presence of tourists…